Enchilada

The shade slid slowly by; hardly a whisper in the the wind told of its passing.

The lazy eye of mine,
Drifted slowly by,
Always need some time,
To figure out my life,

I never know what it means to be me,
Never felt what I should feel,
Never was who I was meant to be,

Literally,

Always hidden behind,
All these words of mine,
Wonder if I'll ever find,
Just a little piece of mind,

What am I doing?

Bloody blog ;)

Ever just feel like you're missing something?

I can't feel... complete? I don't know. It's so weird. My life is far from perfect but, what is it? Ugh... Hate hormones.

"Nothing is ever easy," Terry Goodkind.

mMmm...

Was watching Ed a little while ago. i like that show. I guess thats the beauty of a tv show. You get to live vicariously through it's characters. In way I guess it enables us to, to a certain extent experience things we never would,could or even should do. I like the show cause the peeps in it do things that are just so incredibly eccentric and plain weird. loLs. Plus Ed's a hopeless romantic; poor sucker. Wow look at me, it's as if he's a real person, the way I talk bout him. Like he's a personal friend or something... geez.

Anyway...

There were two guys in this episode that brought up something really interesting.

There were two very different philosophies put into play.

One was by a American literary giant. He wrote,

"Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand. . . ." Henry D. Thoreau.

The other was a fictional character who had a brush with death after a failed bacon-making experiment. ;) His whole perspective was shaken. He realised how little he had accomplished and how fragile life was. How little time he had. He wrote a book, 'Do Everything'. His own personal, published secrets to living life. He rode off in the sunset with a horse because he simply never did it before.

So...

Both are aesthetically tantalizing.

In Thoreau's book Walden, as I understand from the show anyway, the protagonist; the main character of the same name just picks up and moves to the woods. He found that when he took the time to smell the flowers, literally I suspect, the world seemed to be more... meaningful? When you let the beauty of a sunset wash over you, when you let the waterfall wash you clean, thats where he found his place. Thats where he found what everyone quests for. Thats where he found satisfaction. My brother once told me he would be happy just living in a shanty, with his guitar. That was a while back though, but it hints around the same corner.

mMmm...

I think i prefer the latter way of living. I'm enticed by the subject 'Everything 101'.

'The Theory Of Everything," Sid Meiers.

I guess, it's because I keep hearing about how everyone, sooner or later gets this mid-life crisis thing. And then you go, Oh my @#$%ing G#$@! What have I done with my life. You know that kinda thing. When your whole life just seems so devoid of any tangible achievement. I do not want to be a balding 40 year old looking back at my paltry parody of a life and thinking, damn, should've done that when I had the chance.

LoLs, maybe thats why I decided to take a year off formal education next year. Theres just so many things I've always wanted to do. I procrastinate with things I don't want to, but have to do. When I have genuine interest, I go for it. Somehow that just sounds so wrong. Whatever. Next year should be fun. Lots of things I got to do. Lots of things I want to know. A short list? I'm gonna dunk, I should learn Mandarin, mMmm guitar lessons, advance me scuba diving license so I can dive deeper, play better badminton, learn to ballroom and break dance, take a few course in computers and maybe mechanics, learn to draw, visit the gym, write, read, travel, meet new people, laugh, smile. ;) Tons and tons more. Just sooo many things I just need to do. Don't you have something you've always wanted to do? A year isn't enough for me. But it's a great start ;)

What is life, if not for the living?

Hopefully I'll find something that fills me and I can stop roaming, but til then...

Play me a serenade, and still my pain. When the sirens halt singing, at the rainbows end.

G'nite,

God bless.